Very, very peacefully, my little grandma took my grandfather's hand and went home to Heaven yesterday afternoon. I just know that she is there now in his arms and hugging her younger sister, her parents...everyone she ever loved...and they just had to have been all gathered around with sweet mariachi music and lots of warm tortillas...just waiting to welcome her home and celebrate the end of her long enduring pain. She's safe now, and can finally rest.
Her poor little battered body was just so tired, and though the dialysis was helping her feel better lately, a recent procedure to put a stint in her arm left her with a terribly painful and numb hand. She was just getting more and more worn out. She was just so tired and ready for some rest.
She had a good day, everyone reports. My aunt styled her hair for her. She went to dialysis earlier than usual, and even went shopping afterwards. She came home and asked my cousin Amanda to wrap up a purse for my aunt while she went to rest in bed. It was only minutes that Amanda returned to Grandma's room and found her not breathing. It was so quick and peaceful in her own bed, in her own apartment, with family.... and that was really all we hoped for her, that it would be quick and peaceful and dignified.
She is so beautiful and I miss her so much... I missed her even before she left. I can't imagine what it will be like now without her physically here in my life, but I am happy for her, and I carry her with me in everything I do.
I love you so much, Little Grandma!!!! You are the most beautiful little woman with the biggest heart...and you gave me so much love and joy all of my life. You did nothing but give care and love to everyone you knew... real, rich, unconditional love. You are amazing, and I'm just so blessed that you were mine.
I knew you had to leave soon, Grandma...but I still can't believe you are actually gone. I wish I could just scoop you up in my arms again and hold you forever.
The kids and I were at the mall...and I think even taking this picture at the moment she passed or shortly after because it was no more than a minute or two that my mom was calling me...but didn't want to tell me until I got home. So here, Grandma, maybe you saw us taking this picture...I was thinking of you when I snapped it and how you would be so tickled by it, and I was going to rush home and send it out for printing so I could put it in your package on Tuesday...but well.......so this last picture is for you!! This picture will forever mean so much to me... to remind me of where I was when you closed your beautiful green eyes to this world, and I can see your smile on the faces of my babies.
David was really upset...but I just explained about the Fiesta in Heaven and how Little Grandma is now having a wonderful Christmas homecoming with everyone she missed so much. It seemed to cheer him up a little bit.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!
and thank you just for thinking of us... no need to call or write or comment if you don't wish... but just knowing you cared enough to read this post and took a second to mentally hug us... that's means more to me than anything, and please know that I love you too. All my best.... Rachel
1 comment:
Oh Rachel, I'm so sorry to hear this. It was clear to me how important your grandmother was to you.
I love your vision of the fiesta though and I know exactly how comforting those thoughts are at a time like this.
When our mom died, we knew that she was pain-free and healthy again, jitterbugging with her brother who had gone ahead only days earlier to get things ready.
((((hugs))))
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