Still me...but 33.

Today I am 33 years old now. It's a day for me to look back on how my 33rd year went. Well, what I'm understanding now is that it wasn't the happiest year, but that was my own doing.

My overwhelming grief for my grandmother's passing was the heaviest on my mind, and I carried those feelings through the whole year. Even when I engaged in something that should be joyful, I found myself thinking, "But I can't really enjoy this because my grandma is not here, and I can't pick up the phone and hear her smiling as I tell her about this." I let that sadness be the background music of my year, and I let myself get sadder and feel more pain... which magnified the pain I was having in my leg...which led to the surgery... rock bottom. Yes, in my 33rd year, I hit rock bottom.

I'm facing my 34th year now...and already my song is different; my attitude is different; my feelings are different. I have let her go now, and I'm left only with my love for her, and my overwhelming sense of pride for having been loved by her too. I have been off to a good start at changing things around. This is going to be a good year. This is my renaissance year! This is the year I no longer hold myself back.

Thanks for being here for another birthday! Your friendship means so much to me, and you know it is so true. I am so thankful that I have the gift of knowing you! Thank you!