I can't believe...

... that already a year has passed since I last saw my beautiful little grandma laughing and smiling... since I smelled her sweet little head and gave her a kiss on it and she replied, "I love you too." The last time I wrapped my arms around my warm little grandma was a year ago at her birthday party. I miss her every day. I miss her cute little voice and the way it lit up when she laughed.



I picked a few little roses for her. She loved roses, and I think the only reason my roses are blooming and beautiful is because she is helping them a little -- and shaking her head at me because I am pathetic with that stuff, but I could almost hear her whisper when I'm outside that they are such pretty roses. So I found a few that the beetles weren't living in and eating...and put them in a little glass I had swiped from her collection years ago. She always drank out of these tiny little glasses. My little portion of her ashes are in a little tin, which rest inside a satin ribbon pouch that I knitted, and the glass butterfly sits atop of it.

It's strange how you try to hold onto whatever you can..and hope that if you make a little shrine like this she might hear you crying and maybe you would feel her touch your head or something...but the only thing I feel is my heart breaking again that she is gone.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LITTLE GRANDMA!!! I miss you so damn much.